142 Columbia Heights
Photo: Curbed; Photo: Douglas Elliman
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Listen, it’s not as though getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue that it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. Here, we’ll find the actually worth-looking-ats, the actually worth-the-costs, and the surprisingly affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from all around the internet.
I decided to hug the coast of Brooklyn this week — only visiting neighborhoods that border the water. I find myself attracted to these neighborhoods, many of which have a transportive, maritime-y feel. I started at the tip of Brooklyn, in the heights, then steered down through Columbia Heights onto Red Hook, then Sunset Park, Bay Ridge, Fort Hamilton, and beyond.
If my search this week taught me anything, it’s that I should be moving to Bay Ridge, a neighborhood filled with grand manor houses. (See 131 76th Street, a Neoclassical-style house with a semicircular porch, and 8200 Narrows Avenue, an Arts and Crafts–style mansion referred to in the neighborhood as the “Gingerbread House.”) But I wasn’t just going off of that! I also found a lot of really great and affordable one- to three-bedroom places in the area.
$1,550, 1-bedroom: What all one-bedrooms should cost. I love the light this one gets — I don’t hate what they did to the bathroom, and the whole place still has some of its original charm! Also the kitchen is huge; it’s neither relegated to a hallway nor taking up half of the living room.
$2,6250, 2-bedroom: stunning, well-preserved two-bedroom in a limestone rowhouse. The bay windows are beautiful, and the floor is just perfectly varnished — not too much, not too little. Juuuust right. And the blue-tile bathroom!
$3,300, 2-bedroom: Okay, not as cheap, and a lot more renovated. But it retains some of its original charm — hardwood floors, some fun pendants and chandeliers. Plus the building itself is cool — a 1920 Tudor-esque construction that’s a block from the water.
$3,200, 2-bedroom: Two-bedroom on the second floor of a two-family home. Good floors, bad recessed lighting, good Tiffany lamp!
$2,650, 2-bedroom: Not much to write home about, but there is so much space and a very nice bay window. After you rip up the hideous faux-marble floors in the kitchen and replace all the ceiling pendants, it’ll be pretty great.
$2,290, 1-bedroom: It’s spacious, it’s classic, it’s got tiling in the bathroom, nicely varnished floors, and it’s a few blocks from the water.
$3,000, 3-bedroom: This one has a pastel dollhouse theme that I’m interested in learning more about … besides that, this place is positively YAWNING with space.
$3,800, 2-bedroom: So. Many. Windows! The living room is pretty and calming, there’s an in-unit washer-dryer, and I don’t hate the kitchen! The accent wall that divides the living space from the kitchen is, well, hideous, but maybe there’s something to be done about that. And also, paint. It needs paint.
$3,900, 1-bedroom: New construction in a boutique development called 121 Pikeman. Feels fancy and small. I think the white oak is what gives it that elevated feel, not to mention the floor-to-ceiling windows. I like the dividing screens, but I’m not fooled by them — instead of creating the illusion of more space, they seem to cramp the apartment more. But it’s still nice.
$8,500, 3-bedroom: Flood zone or not, this house is just so damn cute. Three-floor, 19th-century townhouse with the most charming garden that you access through a small door next to the kitchen. Other highlights include: the floating wooden stairs and the bathtub.
120 Pioneer St.
Photo: Outlive
$4,795, 1-bedroom: This price tag is a rude awakening coming on the heels of the SP and BR inventory. But looking past what we can’t change, I do love the shiplike feel of this garden apartment. The windows in the kitchen are a nice touch, and the door that leads out to the garden is too … It’s cozy in here, and I dig it.
139 Henry St.
Photo: Clocktower Properties
$3,200, studio: These east-facing oversize windows! Makes the prospect of studio living a little more appealing. The built-ins are also a highlight here. And, Oh my god, there’s a sliding ladder — so that you can reach the books you placed on tippity top of the shelf.
$14,000, 1-bedroom: Obviously this one is just for fun. This place is one of the most bizarre apartments I’ve seen in some time. There are ten rooms, and only one of those is a bedroom. I’m getting aesthetic whiplash, it’s a totalist, maximalist nightmare in here.
3 Pierrepont St.
Photo: Corcoran
$3,100, studio: Overpriced, but still, this studio is quite special. Art Deco building, lovely updates to the (tiny) kitchen, and it’s on a desirable fruit street!
$4,200, 1-bedroom: As close to the fruit streets as you can get without being a fruit street! And that’s all I have to say about this somewhat underwhelming but sweet one-bedroom in a prewar building. There is, against all odds, a dishwasher at least.
$3,975, 1-bedroom: Perfectly nice, not hideously priced one-bedroom in prime BK heights. It’s offensive that the listing calls this “spacious” — the economic living is on full display, and I commend the current tenants for that, but “spacious” this is not.
$13,000, 2-bedroom: Well, this is cool: Norman Mailer used to live here!!!!! And he renovated the fourth floor to feel like a ship. Which explains the totally bizarre, totally amazing two-story wood-and-glass atrium. And according to his son Michael Mailer, multiple ex-wives of Mailer were living in the house at the same time.
$6,999, 4-bedroom: Another oddly configured, ship-ish apartment. Four bedrooms does not seem possible, there are maybe two. Maybe. But there’s a lot to like here! The tiling in the kitchen, the bright bedroom on slide 8, the hardwood floors.
$2,750, studio: It’s just cute, okay? We’ll leave it at that.
$2,400, 2-bedroom: I’m freaking for this one. Even the galley kitchen with its subway tile is getting me. Those crown moldings! Those gleaming hardwoods! That price!
In case I haven’t successfully convinced you into moving to southwest Brooklyn, I thought I’d do a price comparison here, just to emphasize the contrast between Brooklyn Heights and Bay Ridge. First up, we have this annoyingly attractive (or is it just masterfully staged?) three-bedroom apartment in a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights.
140 State St.
Photo: Dandrea Craig Realty
Don’t get me wrong, this place has a lot going for it: the white slab cabinets and the gray-tiled backsplash in the kitchen, the full soaking tub, and the paragon staircase. Are you willing to pay $9,950 a month for the pleasure of waking up to a pyramid skylight? Maybe. But let’s move over to Bay Ridge, where we have this lovely, semi-detached single-family home, with 8 rooms, 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. There’s some work to be done here — the floors could use stripping, the light fixtures aren’t great, a repainting wouldn’t hurt. But this house feels like a house — almost suburban with it’s own parking garage, a front porch, and a sunroom!
314 83rd St.
Photo: Citi Nest
